Fresh vs. Frozen: Not Just For Vegetables Anymore

Today we experienced a setback when we found out that our donor did not pass her FDA-required infectious disease screening and is now disqualified from continuing our cycle. Tomorrow, I’ll speak with the doctor about what we should do next. As I understand it, our options are to choose a new donor who is able to start her cycle pretty much immediately; ditch this cycle, stop taking my meds, choose a new donor, wait for her to be available, start my meds all over again, and pray that nothing goes wrong this time; or order frozen eggs from an egg bank again. Read More »


Infertility, Irritability, and Job Compatibility (in a Heath Care Facility)

I’ve been experiencing a lot of difficulty at my job. I’ve worked at the same place for almost three years, but many transitions have been occurring since July 2015. I began my first faculty position, the college of medicine where I work was purchased by a corporation, and they built and transferred me to a new clinic funded by the state’s behavioral health authority. Read More »

Always a Stepmom, Never a Mom

I’m in what seems to be an unusual position among the infertile women on the message boards I read, in that I have a partner who already has children. I imagine it’s a very different experience when neither partner has children, and both have such a strong desire for children that they are undergoing unusual, painful, expensive assisted reproduction. I wonder what it’s like when both people are in the exact same boat. Read More »

Recipe for a baby

The times I experienced a donor egg IVF failure, I went looking for reasons and solutions. I wanted to know what I could do and who I could be in order to increase my chances of a pregnancy the next time I completed a cycle. From all the hearsay, popular press, and message boards, you end up with a list of ingredients, resulting in a serving size of one baby… or, 39.2% of the time, two (Letterie & Klein, 2013). Read More »

Never-Ending Baby Parade

I’m a person who reads Facebook a lot. And I post a lot. And I mean a lot.

People without children often lament the fact that, as they enter their late 20s and early 30s, their Facebook stops being an endless virtual party and turns into an endless virtual nursery. In fact, there is a browser extension that turns all your precious baby pictures into pictures of cats. That is how much people dislike seeing your babies crash the drunken kitty cat rave that used to be their newsfeeds. Read More »

Darwinian Nightmare

I used to have a friend who would call me a “Darwinian nightmare.” I’ll just say that this very loosely had to do with me making a habit of flaunting certain principles of evolutionary psychology. I realized the other day that I’m still flaunting the basic premises of evolutionary psychology. I’m spending tens of thousands of dollars in a highly effortful attempt to perpetuate some other woman’s DNA. Read More »

What’s Ice Cream Got to Do With It? My Backstory

When I was 12, I went to the ice cream shop with my mom. We went there about weekly, before my dance lesson, which  meant my mother got to know the servers a bit. That day, she was telling them about my 20-year-old sister’s premature menopause. I’m not sure if she realized I noticed it when she gestured toward me and whispered “Her too.”

Did she know? Did she just assume? Did she just want to make a story more interesting to a relative stranger? Read More »